Theotokos!

Theotokos.  The very word conjures up a fiery, terrifying Galadriel-like image that exudes power.  Not the humble, Middle-Eastern peasant maiden, lying on the hard barn floor, next to a manger in which she has just lain her swaddled newborn, that she may have a few moments rest from the labors of childbirth.

Theotokos, Greek for "God-bearer", is one of the titles we Catholics give to Jesus' Mother.  The one we celebrate on January 1st.  Though my own image of Mary is far more human.  

There is a theory that Mary did not experience labor pains, but that Jesus issued forth from her womb painlessly, closing it back up behind Him, angels attending them, while Joseph was off doing something foster-fatherly.  I have a problem with that.  I have far more respect for a Mary who experienced all the physical, emotional and hormonal difficulties that we women do, yet, in her perfection, was able to master her responses and act in a holy fashion.  The Mary who stood in agony at the foot of the cross, dying inside as her son died physically.  The Mary who "pondered these things in her heart" for 3 days and was the first to rejoice in the resurrection.  The Mary whose only goal has ever been to lead us to her Son, not to garner worship and praise for herself.  This is the woman I can call to when I am suffering.  The woman whose life I can meditate on when I need direction in my own.  The queen whom I follow.

My Theotokos.

Happy New Year!!

I Resolve, With The Help Of Your Grace...

We seem to have made it through Christmas by the skin of our teeth around here.  I actually had to give myself permission to let some of the things I wanted to do slide because there simply wasn't time, and I refused to let superficials interfere with our family and spiritual celebration.  I did get the lights up, the tree decorated (actually my son did that) and the Nativity Scene up (my son again).  Many people in our little mission parish were gone for the holiday.  It was strange to see our tiny church only half-full on Christmas Eve, when in past years there was standing room only. 

Now it's time to honor the tradition of New Year's resolutions.  I actually contemplated mine about a month ago.  There's really nothing new.  Some of last year's resolutions were successful, some need more work, and some are no longer important.  I want to finish my first book, get a couple of e-books out, and continue making my lifestyle more sustainable and less consumptive.  I want to share joy and fascination for learning with my homeschooled son.  I want to really get to know my soon-to-be-born grandson.  I want to play with my critters and have an awesome vegetable garden.  I want to get to sewing all those clothes I've been collecting fabric for - our wardrobe really needs replenishment.  I want to get to confession more and take the next step in growing spiritually.  I want to blog more regularly to share that spiritual growth and insight.  I want to work on me, yet think less about me and more about the big picture.  I want to let go and let God.